When I was in 3rd grade, I said “damn” and the teacher heard me, so I told her I was doing a project on beavers, but I kind of freaked out that she would find out I was lying, so I actually made a diorama about a beaver dam just so no one would know I swore.
I go where the wine takes me Alex
my friends sister was telling me about how in highschool a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking up stairs and she saw, grabbed his phone, broke it in half, and handed it back to him and said “you can tell your mom why your phones broken”
for a second I forgot about flip phones and I was like how in the holy hell did she rip a phone in half
if you’re somewhere dark and scary and you think ‘this feels like the first five minutes of supernatural or a horror movie’ then start walking like a dinosaur for no apparent reason. because no-one in the first five minutes of supernatural or a horror movie would start walking like a dinosaur for no apparent reason.
The ultimate survive tip
Finish this christmas song! Dashing through the
supermarket hurredly, i need to find syrup. i need all the syrup i can buy. enough to fill 4 bathtubs. im going to cover myself in syrup and slide around the ground to acheive maximum velocity. get ready world im coming your way fast
…laughing all the way.